Spiders? Bitch please.

Master Pokemon Safety Man here to give you a dose of safety knowledge to keep you and your families safe from the tall grass! 

Before I start, I'd just like to say that YES I do know how ridiculous this subject is to have a whole blog revolve around it. But I'm only doing this FOR THE SAKE OF SAFETY... and class marks so plz jus COOPERATE WITH ME.

In this post, I'll be talking about 2 extremely dangerous bug Pokemon, so have your notepads ready and TAKE SOME NOTES SON.

Figure 1: Holy shit, run.

Venomoth is a posion moth pokemon that is usually found in the forest, and you can usually tell whether you're encountering one or not because IT'S A HUGE FUCKIN MOTH. 

Venomoth has many abilities but one distinct characteristic it has are the large wings located on it's buggy back. Now we've all seen a normal moth before but what separates this beastly thing from those normal ones is its SHEER SIZE, LIKE LOOK AT THIS THING (Figure 1)

Figure 2: You need a ton of these.

Each wing has tiny fragile scales that if Venomoth decides to flap its wings (pray to god it doesn't) it will SCATTER poisonous toxins everywhere that can cause PARALYSIS. This means that once you get hit by the toxins, say goodbye to WALKING, RUNNING, DANCING, PARTYING and many more activities that you love.

Don't worry, as the master Pokemon safety expert I'm here to help, all you need are 3 things: A working brain, good cardio and... BUG SPRAY. I'm sure it's quite obvious how you would use these 3 things:

• FIRST be smart and dont go fuckin around in the forest (you're just asking for a venodeath). 
• SECOND If it's still far, RUN AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK.
• THIRD If you have no choice but to battle it, use bug spray... lots and lots of bug spray.
  (USE ALL OF IT... and throw the can at it when it's empty).

Pineco is a Bagworm pokemon and it is usually found hanging from trees in the forest. Now you might be thinking "What could this thing do? It's just a stupid pinecone, I can easily beat the shit out of it with my bare hands". Well before doing that, think about one thing... YOUR LIFE, because if this thing falls near you, say sayonara to your LEGS because this thing explodes like a GRENADE (the ones Bruno Mars would catch) And it doesn't even make a sound before detonation it just does it WITH NO WARNING, so save the song from Green Day and listen here because I'm the one doing the warnings (lol green day fans will understand).

Fortunately for you, I know 2 things that can prevent you from losing your legs: Fast reflexes.... and a riot shield.

• FIRST If you decide to shake the shit out of the tree, then expect to have the reflexes fast enough to G.T.F.O. of there A.S.A.P. (AND NEVER SHAKE THE GODDAMN TREE EVER AGAIN)
• SECOND If you decide to walk around in the forest like a little bitch, then make sure to equip yourself with a Riot Shield, it's strong enough to protect you from the blast but light enough to swing around. (crush them to bits with it too)

So remember, the next time you go into the forest don't forget the essentials to better protect yourself and the ones you love from these deadly bug Pokemon. Close your notebooks and take care of yourself because what you don't know might kill you, this is Pokemon safety 101.